Monday, April 25, 2011

Marriage quotes

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My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

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My wife and I were very happy for twenty years. Then we met.

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A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

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When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

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I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months; I don't like to interrupt her.

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Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying".

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A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine".

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A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a millionaire". "And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. The woman replied "A billionaire".

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Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

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Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

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Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

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If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

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It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

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How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.

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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

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