Special Notice

SPECIAL NOTICE FROM Training Dept.

In order to assure the highest levels of education for our employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of

SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give our employee more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. in your Department, please come and see any one of the Trainers at once. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our Trainers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EDUCATION EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EDUCATION ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T S.H.I.T.). Since all the Trainers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. Anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested or rather fit for a job as a Trainer or play a role advising other employees. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P.S.H.I.T.).

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)