Waiter, waiter, this food is terrible.
Bring me the manager.
I’m sorry, sir. He won’t eat it either.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Two people in same grave!
A woman and her young daughter were visiting the grave of the little girl’s grandmother one Sunday. As they passed through the cemetery on the way back to their car, the little girl said, “Mommy? Do two people ever bury in the same grave?”
“Oh no, of course not, dear!” the mother replied. “Why on earth would you think that?”
“Well, that one back there said ‘Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.’”
Insult through letter
The young wife was in tears when she opened the door for her husband.
“I’ve been insulted,” she sobbed. “Your mother insulted me.” “My mother!” he exclaimed. “But she is a hundred miles away.”
“I know, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it.” He looked stern, “I see, but where does the insult come in?”
“In the postscript,” she answered. “It said: ‘Dear Alice, don’t forget to give this letter to George.’”
“I’ve been insulted,” she sobbed. “Your mother insulted me.” “My mother!” he exclaimed. “But she is a hundred miles away.”
“I know, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it.” He looked stern, “I see, but where does the insult come in?”
“In the postscript,” she answered. “It said: ‘Dear Alice, don’t forget to give this letter to George.’”
An enthusiastic salesman
An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet.
He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner doesn't do wonders cleaning this up, I'll eat every chunk of it."
She turns to him with a smirk and says, "You want ketchup on that?"
The salesman says, "Why do you ask?"
She says, "We just moved in and we haven't got the electricity turned on yet."
He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner doesn't do wonders cleaning this up, I'll eat every chunk of it."
She turns to him with a smirk and says, "You want ketchup on that?"
The salesman says, "Why do you ask?"
She says, "We just moved in and we haven't got the electricity turned on yet."
Fast food
Why it is called "fast food"?
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Its called “fast” food because you’re supposed to eat it really fast. Otherwise, you might actually taste it.
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Its called “fast” food because you’re supposed to eat it really fast. Otherwise, you might actually taste it.
Tragedies and comedies in life
All tragedies are finished by a death
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and all comedies by a MARRIAGE????
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and all comedies by a MARRIAGE????
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Dead on sidewalk
A man was walking into the hospital for a routine examination the other day. Just as he reached the main entrance, another man, who had just exited the hospital, keeled over on the sidewalk. The first man ran towards the second and noticed that he was obviously dead.
The man rushed into the hospital, grabbed the first doctor that he could find, and screamed, "Doctor, Doctor!! A man just walked out of the hospital and dropped dead on the sidewalk!! What should I do?"
The doctor thought about this dilemma for a few moments, then suggested, "Spin him around. Make it look like he was coming in."
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